H-o-w-e-v-e-r, I love my new home, I love, love, love my family and I'm so incredibly thankful for where I am at this moment. We've been through a lot in the last few months and I can imagine, in hind sight, it may not have been the best timing for me to be pregnant.
Funny enough, when I had all but put surrogacy out of my mind, I got a phone call. The original surrogacy agency I had signed with had referred me to a matching service a long time ago and when I hadn't heard anything, I figured I wasn't on their radar of matchable surrogates. Either that or I had just fallen through the cracks. At any rate, I got a call last week from a lady named Mindy who asked if I was still interested in becoming a surrogate. Of course I said yes. She emailed me the necessary forms and I'll confess, I haven't sent them back yet. Mainly due to technical difficulties (couldn't get my scanner working) but also because I'm a little miffed at this whole process. I set out hard and heavy to be a surrogate a little over a year ago and thought it would come easy. Ok, no, not "easy" but not as hard as it has turned out to be. Not to sound conceited, but I know I'll make a great surrogate. In my heart, I have nothing but positive expectations. To put myself out there and try really hard and not succeed after a year my attitude is just...well, meh. I'm sure our move and such played a big part in that but I guess in my mind, I thought that with all the couples who emailed me in the beginning and all the promising possibilities even as recently as this summer, I would surely be matched by now.
Maybe I should get better at turning in my paperwork. haha
One recent decision I've made is that if this matching service falls though (or maybe even if it doesn't) I'm going to have another go at this solo. I'm feeling more and more like I'd rather work with a couple I find and connect with on my own. Hmm, maybe there's a reason I haven't sent in that paperwork...
Well, one piece of positive news I can share now that she's made it public, my original IM is pregnant!!! I am so incredibly happy for her!!
This is the time of year when we focus on what's important and just live in the moment. At this very moment, I'm going to say a prayer of thanks for this baby who I know is so loved and adored already, it might make a grown man cry. In fact, I'm quite sure it will make many grown men cry. Huge Congratulations to N and her whole family!
I think that's all for now. Miss you all and here's to 2012 being the year I finally see this dream through...
Happy Holidays!
