Just coincidence?

I present for your consideration, the following:

1) My most favorite quote EV-AH! (see the bottom of this page) that I recently found out also hangs on the wall of my hopeful IM's office...

She sent this to me today in a text

2) What I found in my cookie at dinner tonight...

My fortune

3) My random piece of mail. Keep in mind, its been months and months since I've received anything like this. I have NO idea why I got it today and yet, it was addressed specifically to me... 



Prenatal nutrition guide that reads, "Congratulations you're pregnant!"

Coincidence? Maybe. Thought provoking? You betcha. I wont say whole-heartdedly that I'm a believer in signs but I wont say I'm not a believer in signs either. It brings to mind the part in one of my favorite movies where a priest stops Alex (one of the main characters) and tells him, "there are signs everywhere". Immediately afterward a series of familiar objects, people, etc cross his path that he deciphers as signs. He of course, takes them to heart, an exhausting search for his love and the mother of his unborn child ensues, he finds her, mom goes into labor, delivers baby on the Hoover Dam and the rest is history. Que sappy romantic song and...The End.  Haha, love that movie!

As for my own experiences with signs...Well, this is something I haven't shared with many people but not long after my miscarriage I encountered a sign of sorts. I was running late, trying to get Dakota to preschool on time and had to run to Wal-Mart at the last minute to grab snacks for the class. It was a rare few moments at that time when the twins we had lost weren't in the forefront of my mind. After rushing through the express lane and fenagling my way out of the parking lot, I paused to take a deep breath at the stop light. Then I looked up. The bumper sticker on the car directly in front of me read, "Proud Grandparents of Twins"  That was it. No other stickers on the car, nothing special about that day or place or time. Just out of the clear blue sky, a bumper sticker about twins. Never had before and never have since seen another one like it. At first my lip quivered and a few tears rolled down my cheeks. Then, when I allowed myself to think more in depth, I bawled. Not a year before my miscarriage, I had lost my beloved grandpa, "Papaw" as we called him, to cancer. It was a long battle and he was well into his seventies when he died, but nonetheless, it was hard. He was the first grandparent I'd lost and we were close. So you see, when I saw that bumper sticker I instantly thought of Papaw. Even though I consider myself as rational as they come, in my grief and in that raw moment, I thought, "Its a sign...he's got them...he's taking care of them for me in heaven". To this day, I like to think he is. Its a warm, comforting thought and for no other reason than it brings me peace, I've held onto it.

Some might say its a load of hog-wash and I say, to each his own. But as for me...

Well...maybe I do believe in signs.

Hooray for Normal!

I suddenly remembered today that the base clinic has this nifty little system in place where you can call and get test results over the phone. (Cool huh?) Its been almost two weeks since my "yearly" exam and plenty of time for my results to be in. So I called and after playing twister on my phone for 5 min, got my results -- Normal!! Even more impressive was the fact that a real person had recorded the message about my results. Golly gee whiz, I sure feel spay-cial! So yay for technology and another step in the right direction!

I wasn't worried about my results much since I've had nothing but normal PAPs for the last seven years or so, but you just never know and I figured when it really counted, I'd probably get an abnormal reading or something. But nope! My girly parts are good and everything's peachy keen. Now to wait patiently for an update from Gayle (my agent). Hope to hear something tomorrow so we can get crack-a-lackin'!

Happy Sunday Everyone!

What's in a name?

For this blog, quite a lot in fact! Yes, I do on rare occasion, have a stroke of brilliance and yesterday after thinking and pondering for a while, it finally hit.

What the heck am I talking about? The name of my blog of course! While I know an explanation isn't necessarily necessary...I figured it might be worth mentioning since I don't have anything new to share yet.

So first, "Lovin' the Middle" refers to how much I love my middle...errr, umm, my belly rather...during pregnancy. I'm pretty darn tall (5'11) so its probably not "technically" my middle but its close enough and you get the idea.

My "middle" with Colton

It also refers to how much I'm looking forward to that "middle" part of this journey. Being pregnant, sharing the experience with my IPs, feeling the baby(ies) kick, OB appts, ultrasounds, etc...I love all that stuff!

Last but not least, its a play on words (aren't I so clever!) because you see, my middle name just happens to be Love. No really... my name is Kristen Love. --Don't make me scan my drivers license because I will! 

So there you have it... How I named my blog. Yay! : )

My Story - What, Why, When & How

Welcome to my Blog!

Holy guacamole, where on earth do I start this thing!? First and foremost, Thank You for taking the time to read about me, my family and this journey. I'm doing this mainly for myself and my IPs (Intended Parents) but its always fun to have the encouragement of friends and followers along the way! I imagine most of you who know me but are unaware I was beginning this process have questions, concerns, comments, etc. So I think a quick intro and then skipping right to the point is probably the best way to get started. : )

 Most of you already know my name, (Hi, I'm Kristen!) and for those of you who don't know, I'm 28, happily married for almost 8 years to my wonderful hubby James (31) and we have two awesome little boys, Dakota (7) and Colton (1). We're an active duty Air Force family who live, work and play in eastern Illinois near St Louis, MO.

What this is about...

I am in the process of becoming a GS or "Gestational Surrogate". The medical definition of a gestational surrogate is: "a woman who helps a couple to have a child by carrying to term an embryo conceived by the couple and transferred to her uterus."

*Just for clarification, a TS or "Traditional Surrogate" is a woman who is inseminated with the intended father's sperm and then carries the baby to term. <----This is not something I could do because I don't feel emotionally capable of giving up a biological child.*

Why I'm doing this...

I could probably fill a book with all the thoughts, considerations and musings I've had over the years about becoming a surrogate. In short, surrogacy is a new experience to me that stemmed from an old ambition.
If I were to write a bucket list, helping another couple or family achieve the dream of having a baby and/or siblings for their children would be very high on the list.

I can't say for sure where or when the idea to become a surrogate first came to mind. I have extended family that were unable to have children of their own and remember wishing I could help in some way. At the time I was too young to do anything but the desire to help them stuck with me. In addition to that, I very vaguely remember watching a Lifetime movie about a surrogate named Patty Nowakowski. It was based on her true story as a TS (traditional surrogate) who gave birth to boy/girl twins. While I knew I couldn't be a TS like Patty, I loved the idea of surrogacy and from time to time would think about how much I wanted to become a surrogate myself someday.

Somewhere along the way I read or heard about gestational surrogacy and my desire to become a surrogate seemed more and more like a real possibility. I want to say this was shortly before our first son was born. Around that time, I also learned that in order to be a surrogate, I would have to have at least one child of my own. The idea was pushed to the back burner but remained a strong desire for the future. When Dakota was about 8 months old, I finally worked up the courage to call an agency. I talked to a wonderful lady who encouraged me to take my time and contact her again when I was sure I was ready. The years went by and from time to time, the thought would pop in my head. It was just never the right time.

Its funny how surrogacy would materialize from time to time. A program on TV, the GS at my OB's office pregnant with twins, my friends mentioning it over coffee. It was never far from my mind. When I was about 6 or 7 months pregnant with Colton I called another agency here in Illinois. Knowing I couldn't commit to anything for at least another year, I wanted to hear my options, get updates on the science behind it, etc. Again, the lady I spoke to was nice and encouraged me to call when I was done breastfeeding. Again, the idea was pushed to the back burner only to resurface later on.

Finally, about a month ago (give or take), I was reminded of my long-time wish to be a surrogate and finally, the timing was P.E.R.F.E.C.T. With James in school full time (read: non-deployable) for the next 18-24 months, Colton weaned and us living in a surro friendly state, my ambition is finally becoming reality and I am SO EXCITED!! Which brings me to...

When is this happening...

Well, to be honest, I have no idea when I'll be pregnant. My hope is soon and I'm doing everything I can to move this process along. Like anything fun, exciting and swimming with legalities, it can be more of a waiting game than anything else. BUT, I've recently signed with an agency in Texas (see my links) and very recently, (as in last Tuesday) spoken with a wonderful lady in Oklahoma who I have a really good feeling will be my IM (intended mother)!! I'm hopeful, anxious, excited, nervous, etc to see where things go. My ultimate goal is to start this journey with a wonderful family who will gradually become part of our family. I've thought about it over and over and even came up with our own corny little motto:

"To the delivery room and beyond!"

 Picture this lady with blond hair and a preggo belly under the S and you get the idea...

How this will happen...

  I think most of you can guess the technicalities of how this will happen but a few things I haven't mentioned but are equally important:

-This will ONLY happen with the love, encouragement, emotional (and I imagine sometimes physical) support of my husband and best friend

-This will ONLY happen with the love, support and encouragement of my children, family and friends.

-This will ONLY happen with the love, support and encouragement of my IPs

-This will ONLY happen with the support, encouragement and advice from my agent, Gayle and other surrogates who have been there done that

So far, I've received nothing but positive and uplifting responses which has been a HUGE motivator and indescribably encouraging. Up until now, I've only shared this with a few people because I wasn't sure the what/why/when and how would work out. Now that I know this is going to happen, I'm ready to share my news and begin journalling the adventure!!

Buckle up, get out your kleenex, hide your pee sticks and lets see where the road to gestational surrogacy leads us. What d'ya say!?