Hmm, but then I can't help but wonder just where my journey is going to go...
So far so good with being patient. : ) I'm still holding out hope that my IM will become preggo and have a happy, healthy little one all on her own. And I truly, sincerely hope that she does! I feel so blessed to have two healthy boys and wish that joy for every deserving, hopeful-mama (and daddy!) out there!
The only worry I have is time. Its always about timing isn't it? Of course if we lived here permanently (as in, from here, staying here, own a house kind of permanent) I'd set up shop and chill. Buuuut, being military -- its not quite that simple. You see, my hubby is due to PCS, that's "permanent (<---yeah right!) change of station", in late 2012. Actually, we should have PCS orders in early 2012 and be packing and getting ready to move in summertime 2012. Its all a little confusing even for me but here's the gist of it:
- We get orders no later than spring of 2012
- James graduates with his BSN in May/June of 2012
- Takes his nursing exam shortly after
- Attends COT (commissioned officer training) for a month
- We pack and get ready to move summer 2012
- James goes to NTP (nurse training program through the AF) for 9 weeks
- We move to our first base around fall 2012
So what this means for me is that I have until (comfortably) summer 2012 to deliver a baby(ies) in time for us to move. To throw another twist in the mix, we are really, really, really hoping to go to Germany. Now, maybe, just maybe if we were planning to move to a state-side base, I could feasibly move while pregnant. I say that only because James would be there to help and we will obviously have the AF move us. (Meaning they pack our things, haul them where ever we're stationed and then un-pack them for us.) But, since my hubby is such a nice guy and loves me so much, he told me I could pick what base we put in for and being me, I had to pick the only overseas base on the list. Of course! Since then I've had my heart set on Germany. I know there are no guarantees with the military but because he's in a special program, he actually does have a very good chance of getting my, I mean, our first pick.
Now for the dilemma. (Hopefully I haven't lost ya in the confusion...)
I've figured out that in order for me to deliver by summer 2012 and have enough time to do whatever else needs to be done before we move, I really, seriously need to be on my way or already have a transfer date set by this September. I've given it a lot of thought, that's my goal and for sanity's sake, I'm sticking to it. That includes being through the contract phase, testing, mock cycle, etc. I mean totally ready with date set by Sept. I might be crazy but I know its possible! As a human and of the female variety however, I'm starting to get just a little bit worried.
If my IM does in fact get preggo on her own (which would be fabulous!) and doesn't need me, that gives me about 6 months give or take to re-match, get through contracts, testing, etc, etc and be ready to transfer. That's totally do-able...right?!
Initially I thought, well, if I have a really strong connection with my IPs and things are moving but we've just had a few set-backs, we can go ahead and put in for Texas or California or Florida and stay in the states. Then the other part of me, (the part that won), wants to go to Germany really, really badly and I feel like I have to stay true to that. I know there might be another opportunity to go, but I want my kids to have that experience. I want us as a family to have that experience and as much I really, really, REALLY want to be a surrogate, I think if things don't work out before its time to go, then I'll just have to accept it and try again when we come back to the states in a couple years. I've got time...right?
Ahhh, what is life without a project or twelve? haha!
All part of the journey! I'm honestly, 100% seriously, not stressing that much. I'm just thinking through everything because I can (and should) and figuring things out. Its a process and for the record, I don't feel like I'm on the Surro-Coaster just yet. I'm actually standing in line with much the same feelings a real roller-coaster rider feels. Excited, totally pumped, rushed with adrenaline, a little nervous but jumping up and down to see how close I'm getting to the "loading" area (hardy-har-har!) and so super jazzed I might pee my pants! No, not really, but ya know, its pretty freaking awesome!
For those already on board, I'm cheering you on and can't wait to hear all about it! Just please, for the love of everything good and holy, don't puke on me as you fly by. Its gross and I can't stomach vomit very well. lol
My turn will come!
Like one of my best friends likes to say, "It'll all work out!" And by cracky, I'm just sure it will. : )
Your friend is right, it will all work out. And as my hubby says to me all the time "everything happens for a reason." Whatever's meant to be, will be...how many more cliches can I throw at you, lol. But seriously, it's a great thing that you are sticking to your path and not rearranging it to fit around surrogacy. Best of luck!
ReplyDeleteI agree-it WILL all work out. I have faith that everything will work out according to your plan :)
ReplyDeleteGermany would be really nice! Do you know where you could be stationed if you went there?
ReplyDeleteCan't you be a surrogate and still go to Germany? I would think that if you gave birth on a US Base that everything would be OK but I really don't know. Maybe you can ask other military GS if they've had similar issues and how they worked around them? There has to be someone who's gone through this before that can advise you.
Well, if your IPs get pregnant naturally or aren't ready to cycle before September, I'm still looking for a GS! :)
Linda - If we go to Germany it'll be Landstuhl AB just east of Ramstein. I'm not sure what the laws are for surrogacy in Germany but I highly doubt I could handle a move with two household goods shipments, two kids, two pets and be pregnant. I'm sure if we did that I'd have to stay in the states until delivery and let my husband go over ahead of me. I'm sure it'll all work out though! : )
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